Players, Parents and Coaches, Oh, My!
How effective teamwork applies off the lacrosse field

The key word here is "off." On the field, players of lacrosse depend on one another for nearly every move. Liken the relationship to a toddler learning to walk; advancing to the next level requires as much support and encouragement as it does strength.

But what happens off the field? How are today's players, parents and coaches of lacrosse players coming together for the common good of the team? And, how do the needs of all concerned change with the age and level of the player?

"A lot of parental involvement is necessary at the youth level," says Men's Head Lacrosse Coach Rob Bajoros of Notre Dame High School . "You're less concerned about winning and losing and more concerned about having fun."

"At the high school level is when things start to change," adds Bajoros. "It still needs to be fun, but you expect less parental involvement. Varsity head coaches are looking to win."

Indeed fostering the delicate relationships at each level of play requires diplomacy. Parents, for example, often vacillate between strategic guidance and inadvertent pushing when it comes to a son's or daughter's lacrosse career.

"Ultimately it falls on the young lady to determine what she wants," says Sue Stahl, Head Women's Lacrosse Coach for Old Dominion University . "Parents can help with stick work and conditioning, but let her [the player] develop at her level. We need to be sure it's what she wants and not what the parents want. [Parents can] direct her to good choices, and then let her make the choices," adds Stahl.

Stahl encourages her parents to play a supportive role and be good fans, "Pick her up when she occasionally falls or has a bad day. Personally be there for her."

Parental Support During the Recruiting Years
The transitional period between high school and college sees a different kind of parental involvement. With recruitment sometimes starting as early as the freshmen and sophomore years of high school, as opposed to the traditional junior year, these young lacrosse players are often committing to schools with disregard for their academic programs. Similarly, parents of 14- and 15-year-olds are becoming increasingly blind-sided and ill-prepared to begin college admissions groundwork.

"Who knows as a sophomore [in high school] what they want to do academically?" asks Mike Messere, Boys' Lacrosse Coach for West Genesee High School in upstate New York . "Kids and parents need to know what they are getting into. It's very confusing. They [high school players] can get passed by before their junior year," he adds.

Parents should take advantage of school and career counselors. They serve to help parents search for colleges with their children and educate them about the regulations involved.

Parents can also help motivate their children and encourage them to be proactive. Children who play on club teams are more visible by college coaches, especially if the club teams are run by assistant coaches who are affiliated with universities. If the player seems to have the drive and serious commitment level, parents can foster that by encouraging the child to contact coaches directly before their junior year.

Undoubtedly, the college admissions process is stressful for everyone, particularly for the student. The pressures on today's teenagers can easily become overwhelming. The best advice received to date is a general consensus among coaches who espouse, "Let the kid be a kid"-an altruism often overshadowed by zealous coaches and parents who don't like to lose. And, who does? The point is that sometimes a laisser faire approach to lacrosse may be a healthier one depending upon the player.

Young athletes are empowered to make better choices when they receive support from their parents, coaches and counselors. And Messere agrees that the college-bound athlete should take charge of his or her own future as much as possible.

With the growing number of athletes conducting college searches, Division II and III teams are becoming as competitive as Division I teams. Young players and their parents are encouraged to do their homework as early as possible-and do it together-as the player is ready to commit. High school coaches should be familiar with recruiting practices and can help serious players stand out from the crowd.

Coach Bajoros sums up another valuable lesson, "At the college level, coaches want to see a hard work ethic. No matter what, the kid who works the hardest will be on the field."